Frog-Man.net - Second rate, B-level internet humor

After several days of toiling, rage, and generally learning many things about... weird computer things I still don't know about, Charles and I have assembled what appears to be a message board that works and is disturbingly similar to our current board. Try the new board out and see if you like it. If you do, we'll replace the current board with it. If not, I will kill you all. Or try something else... whatever.

It seems as if everyone has found something to do tonight except me, so I'm here at home licking the cat's butt. But (the use of these two homonyms right next to each other was purely coincidental), I suppose now was a good time to get to work on some website/miscellaneous crap I've been meaning to get to work on...

Dodgeball is unofficially off this week: Come on, Friday is Christmas Eve. We all have more important things to do, and you know it. Show up if you want, but I'd imagine fun will probably be severely limited.

News was archived: Self-explanatory and probably uninteresting to you. Once 2005 hits, I'm going to shunt all the 2004 news into a separate 2004 archive to make way for new news.

Various other housecleaning was done: Some old and random unnecessary crap was deleted. Not really important, but I figured I'd throw it in with the rest.

We now host our own counter: See that pretty new counter? If you don't, please tell me so I can fix it. Anyway, if you can indeed see it, it's running off the site's webserver and not off some third-party service. So, the site is one step closer to being totally self-sufficient. Which finally brings me to...

New Message Board Progress Report: This is the part of the update that will anger you, because work on the new board is not going well. I have a new board sorta done, but I'm stupid, which inevitably has led to a problem: the main page of the board looks almost exactly like our board now. However, all posts made on the board are in default, black text on white background format, and I don't know how to fix it. I assume you can somehow tell the board to format the posts like the main page, but the board is written in perl, which is in fact a computer language of some sort, not a beautiful and costly mineral deposit found in oysters. I don't know how the hell perl works, nor have I ever used it. So. I'm sorta half looking for alternatives, half waiting around and trying to find someone who knows something about perl and might be able to help. Any takers?

You can find it on this page. My apologies to you dial-up users out there (myself included... ugh) for the rather large file sizes. Apparently, converting files from a format other than RealMedia tends to keep the file sizes on the large side, unlike the previous audio shows. I guess that says something about RealMedia though, doesn't it? If anyone knows anything about audio file compression, I'd love to hear about it. I've already reduced the quality on these babies to the point where I can't reduce the quality any more without the show sounding like two guys vomiting.

One more week... more like four more days... it'll be like three days, really...

Pics and quotes are back on schedule, as both were updated today. A big and hearty thanks to those of you who submitted pics. You've done very well. Well, except for Shayphr--dude, the one you sent me has already been a Pic of the Every Other Week. Pay attention, man.

Blake and I did an audio show. It will be up soon; I'm having more difficulty than I expected in compressing it enough for it to sound good and not be a million megabytes. Blake, it's going to end up being a lot bigger than I thought... hm... I may even have to split it into two parts. I'd really, really rather not, but we'll see.

Lastly, I have a quick question: what is the deal with the abysmal turnout at dodgeball lately? And by abysmal, I mean no turnout. Seriously, what's going on? Last time I wasn't there on account of The Adding Machine, but Blake informed me that when he got there, there was nobody there. Last night, when I tried to go, there was again nobody there, and I ended up at Sam Huff's house? Wha?! Anyway, let's uh... let's do better, 'kay?

Welp, back to work on the first of my 2 and a half take-home finals. It never ends...

I'm running desperately, desperately low on pics worthy of filling the "Pic of the Every Other Week" slot. However, I know for a fact that certain events transpired last summer and in recent months that people have pictures of that are probably pic material. If you want to see those pics on the site, send them to me. Thank you.

The move is unofficial and mostly stems from me being busy on (apparently) every Saturday that exists. This particular busy Saturday was actually a fun one, but most of them continue to suck and involve doing unfun things. But that is beside the point. Please enjoy your new pic and quote.

Now, if you will excuse me, I must once again go and do a bunch of stupid homework for losers that like to make people do homework. There were two really disgusting weeks of horror and delirium that I knew were going to hit me this semester... this is the first. Wish me luck.

...resulted in the writing of this weblog entry. Because of this, I forgot to type a paper and had to do that over my lunch break. However, the paper was gratuitous and foolish.

Regarding dodgeball this week, a couple of interesting things are going on. First off, on Friday night, Jackson High School's FCA is hosting a dodgeball tournament at the same time and place JUDL meets on Friday. College kids are not allowed in this particular tournament. So, I guess we'll maybe be playing at the lower courts? I dunno... I suggest driving around until you find us, unless you want to compete in their tournament, if you're of age.
Secondly, The SEMO Dodgeball League is hosting a tournament on Saturday at (I believe, but am not totally sure) 5:00 PM at the tennis courts at the corner of Sprigg and Bertling. I really don't have too much information on this one (and honestly don't know what's going on this weekend, so I dunno if I'm going or not). Ferg or Joe Hellman, are you out there somewhere to enlighten us?

Now, if you will excuse me, I have to type another, different, totally unrelated paper. And perhaps sleep, as well, but I doubt it.

[Update: 8:28 PM - I have been informed the FCA tourney begins at 6 PM. This is a good thing.]

Here at frog-man.net, it's become a sort of annual tradition. I've switched servers in each of the last two years, in which case everything must be re-uploaded to the new server. One section of the site's re-uploadation, thanks to its enormous size and my < 56k internet connection, is always delayed, and when it finally arrives, approximately nobody rejoices or even realizes it, for that matter.

Nevertheless, I am proud to announce the audio shows, in all of their angst-ridden poor quality, are once again available. And, so nobody shoots themselves, available in .wma format. Let's face it--it's 2004. Nobody should have to use RealPlayer. Ever.

Notice: Neither pic nor quote are actually super spooky, but it's my obligation to milk the holiday spirit as much as possible.

Speaking of holiday, happy Halloween, everyone! Hope you all have/had a frightening, yet undead-free weekend. Nobody needs those stupid undead ruining everything: vampires flying around chewing on your neck and seducing your girlfriend, zombies losing skin all over your lawn and breaking all your windows... y'know. They sure screwed up my weekend... naw, I'm kidding; it was great.

Welp, guess it's back to the grind. I have a list of assignments to do, and I'm dying to knock some of that stuff off before the day it's due...

Greesh sent me this little number earlier tonight (cropped for your viewing pleasure):

Naw, it's not 100,000 or anything like that, but I thought it was pretty cool... one of those rare and interesting milestones. I approve.

I guess we're a little more than halfway through Fall Break here, so I figured I'd be productive and make a little update to the site (even though it's a regularly-scheduled update). I've also found time to flex my creative muscle, which is good. All I know is that I've totally neglected school for the past... eh, let's call it four days. And I don't care. And it feels great. Tomorrow I'll have to do something about it, but I'll worry about that when it comes.

The weblog is new, but I gotta go watch the Cardinals right now. That's all I got, anyway.

Oh, school, why must you destroy me with your mind-numbing reading assignments, papers and other projects that seem to strengthen the gravitational fields around me, dragging me down like a ball and chain attached to another, bigger ball and chain? With spikes on it.

That and the five spare minutes I have before doing homework and watching Monday Night Football, where the Eagles take on the Vikings.

Speaking of that, football season started two Thursdays ago. As always, I wish the best of luck to my Philadelphia Eagles and Cleveland Browns, and grim misfortune upon the New England Patriots, New York Giants, Washington Redskins, Dallas Cowboys, Pittsburgh Steelers, Tampa Bay Buccanneers, and Green Bay Packers.

...here's a weblog, instead. Sorry the comics have pretty much grinded to a disgusting, "Here we go again" kind of halt--it's just as I feared. I'll try to set aside some hours this weekend to do one. Of course, one might say I could have worked on one instead of doing the weblog, but don't harass me with your logic, cold and precise as it is!

Rise from your grave to rescue my daughter... I mean, update the pic and quote...

Our new pic and quote today feature that jerk who always gets in the way of good pictures, as well as the most gratuitous use of the word "turd" ever.

I guess that's really all I have. Go to the Ivanovic show tonight. Details on the board. Visit their beautiful website, as well.

...and as far as I'm concerned, that's as good of a reason as any to smite you with this soggy and poorly flavored weblog entry.

The next comic strip is still on the drawing board downstairs and is thoroughly incomplete. I really hope I get some time to work on that this week, among other things.

Just because I'm not dreading going back to school with every ounce of my being doesn't mean I necessarily want to go back.

Besides that, there is a new pic and quote, both going along with our boardgame craze from the last month or so.

The Last New Wells Softball Update: Our season came to an unfortunate end last night with a 10-8 (I think) loss to Friedheim in the first round of the playoffs. However, I believe our 8-8 record this season is a testament of things to come for our team, considering we were 4-12 last season. Us young guys are slowly getting better, and the vets are just as good as ever. Also, those of you who came to the last four games this season were really a boost for the whole team. We thank you for your support and hope to see you again next season.

4 years later, we're finally at comic strip #25... also, softball playoffs info!

Sad, but true. Sorry about the delay; it's been a busy week. I'm honestly going to try really hard to keep it up once school starts, but who knows how busy I'll be.

New Wells Softball Update: I forgot to update you on the last two games, so here goes. We lost to Frohna 11-7 two Sundays ago, and won a thriller against Trinity last Sunday 10-8 in 8 innings. We were down 8-1 after two innings and came back to win. We finished the regular season with a record of 8-8. The postseason is coming soon--I'll let everyone know date, time, and location when I actually figure that out.

--And, coincidence of coincidences, I just found out when the next game is... and it sucks because it's tomorrow (Friday) versus Friedheim. And, it's a late game, which also sucks. So here's the deal... I dunno if any of you can/want to come or not, but if you do, it's at Frohna at approximately 9:00 PM. To get to the Frohna ballfield, go to Altenburg like you normally would, but turn left on Highway A/C at the T-intersection (instead of right, into Altenburg) and follow that into Frohna. To find the ballfield, take a left on a small road just before Highway C makes a right turn and separates from Highway A. It's very easy to miss--you'll probably be better off just looking for the stadium lights, since it'll be dark by then and they'll be bright.

P.S. - I'd say there's a pretty good chance this game might get rained out, as well, since it's supposed to rain all day tomorrow. I'll post something on the board if I happen to find that out in time.

Yeah, it's long and probably boring, but whatever. It's also probably too similar to Josh's long thing on the board for everyone's liking, but too bad. When summer's this good, you don't want it to end, but you can't do anything to stop it. So you write a bunch of stuff, instead. It's natural.

New comic will hopefully be up on Wednesday. I may run out of time, though, in which case it will be up Thursday. I'm shooting shooting shooting for Wednesday, though.

In the midst of the 24-Hour Comics Day madness, I realized this strip was not on the site. It was on the edge of my Advanced LA 3 binder during my junior year of high school. It's not very good, and unfortunately was made during my "lawsuits lawsuits lawsuits" phase, but I thought it should be on here with the rest of the miscellaneous strips. Enjoy.

Full commentary on JUDL Summer Slam, the end of summer, and whatever else has been going on lately will probably be in some weblog coming up soon. I'll try not to make it too boring.

I would be lying if I said it doesn't come as a surprise to me that there's a new comic strip up on time. Well, no matter how you look at it, there's a new comic strip up. Sorry it's coming so late in the day. A lot of work went into this one. Apologies if there's too much Photoshop for your liking.

If I get time tomorrow, I'll try to post a picture of a Summer Slam shirt, even though it'll only give you a day to look at it. I need to do a weblog, too. Again, the time factor.

Sorry this update is coming so late. I spent most of the day with my sister working on the t-shirt design for the shirts that will be sold at this Friday's Summer Slam 2004 (not to be confused with the WWE event of approximately the same name). I'll try to make a mock-up of the shirt design and post it here sometime soon so you can get an idea of whether or not you'll want to purchase it (which you will).

If you haven't seen the board, the 100,000 hits party / Adam D. Morris' birthday party / Whatever else we think of until then party next Saturday has officially been shifted to Josh's with a start time of 8:00 PM.

My delirious work is now complete. Now that the strip is being updated regularly, I hope you are enjoying and are better able to keep track of the story.

The weblog is also updated. I started on it yesterday at work and finished it a couple of minutes ago.

The 100,000 Hits Party is scheduled for Saturday, August 14. More info will be released as it becomes available. Honestly, I don't know yet if we'll be able to have it out here at the Rhodes Compound or not. I'll try to find that out ASAHP. The H is for "humanly!"

New Wells Softball Update: As many of you site regulars bore witness to on Sunday, New Wells smote Friedheim by the score of 10-4 and climbed to .500 for the first time all season by improving to 7-7. In my playing career, I don't think we've ever had more than five wins in a season. Our three-game win streak is on the line next Sunday at 6:30 versus powerhouse Frohna. Be there!

While taking breaks from watching Futurama today, I finished this comic strip. I hope it turned out pretty well. I'm starting to think my artwork is lacking in most areas, so I'm thinking I might try to improve on that further in future strips. Then again, this strip, the last one, and the next one were all made under delirious circumstances. Still, I don't really think that's a legitimate excuse.

The weblog was updated yesterday, by the way. I only seem to update it when I'm at work, so I always seem to end up notifying you sometime long after I post new entries. As if you were curious or something... whatever. Brain's acting a little weird today.

New Wells Softball Update: New Wells upset Jackson 1 tonight by the score of 2-1 in a well-defensed pitcher's duel. Our record now stands at 6-7 going into Sunday's game versus Friedheim. This victory was particularly sweet for me because that game we lost earlier this season that I still think was mostly my fault and set me off on that fit of depression was against Jackson 1. Revenge is good.

As embarrassing as it is, I feel the need to let you know that this is the first time there have been two new comic strips within a week of each other since, again, the year 2000. More specifically, these two. Anyway, enjoy the new one, 'cause it's the last one you're gonna get until... well... probably next Wednesday. I like the sound of that, and I hope you do, too.

Since Gorilla's Choice will be leaving for Schaumburg on Friday, we won't be around on Saturday, so the pic and quote will be updated a day early again.

All right, look. This isn't much of an update. I guess I did post a really long weblog entry today, but there's not really much else to this update. I pretty much just wanted to draw your attention to this:

New Wells Softball Update: New Wells rallied from a 2-1 deficit to defeat Apple Creek 6-3 on Sunday. Our record now stands at 5-7, which I believe is one more win than we had in all of last season, and we still have four more games to go.

Oh yeah, and uh... new comic will be up on Wednesday. I'm praying that I will get going to a point where you won't have to be reminded of when new comics are coming. Go go gadget motivation...

I finally have what appears to be a stable internet connection, so here goes nothing. The first strip from 24-Hour Comics Day is up, and there's a special surprise with it you haven't received in awhile (hint: it rhymes with "bolor").

The Chewy Ninja Monkey Bars section of the site needs an overhaul. I know I just re-did it not too long ago, but I don't like it much. If you have any comments or suggestions, send them my way. If anyone knows how to set up some kind of php thing for web cartoons, I'm very interested in such a thing.

Yeah, so, you're getting your pic and quote a day early. Quite frankly, I'm gonna be a little busy tomorrow, and there's not really any sense in snubbing you. Speaking of being busy tomorrow, don't forget 24-Hour Comics Day! All the info you need is below!

The weblog was last updated on Tuesday, I believe. I might do it again within the next eight hours or so, since I'm staying up until about 10 in the morning so I can wake up in the evening and still be relatively fresh when I get to work on comics tomorrow. This is all very exciting!

New Wells Softball Update: We lost to Crosstown 8-4 on Wednesday. I'll probably get into it a little more in the blog.

So, do any of you remember back in the spring when I was going to do that 24-Hour Comics Day thing, but I was too lazy, unmotivated, and busy watching baseball to do it? Well, do you also remember how I said I was going to try again? Well, I am...

What is it? I sit in Josh's basement for 24 hours drawing comic strips, writing material for future comic strips, and otherwise working on comic strips. Meanwhile, the doors are perpetually open for anyone to come in, hang around, play games, watch movies, banter, keep me company, whatever. Hell, to fuel my massive ego, I'll even sign autographs or make little sketches for people who want them (as long as they don't take too much time).
Where is it? I just told you, stupid.
When is it? Saturday, July 10 (this Saturday) from midnight to midnight (approximately). Exact start time is subject to delay, depending on whether or not we go eat after dodgeball.
Why is it? It's a quick and gimmicky way for me to get ahead on the non-digital part of the work that goes into making comic strips. That and we always need new excuses to hold bashes at Josh's.
The (modified to my liking) rules: 24-Hour Comics Day rules are actually pretty strict, so I'm gonna screw with them to my liking. Basically, I just try to get as much stuff done as possible in 24 hours. Aside from bathroom breaks and maybe going outside once in awhile for some air, I cannot leave the basement. If I have to stop and eat or take a nap (not planning on it) or whatever, the clock continues to run. I guess that's about it.

New Wells Softball Update: New Wells blasted Trinity 11-4 Wednesday night to climb within a game of .500 at 4-5. Our next game is Wednesday against Crosstown (I think). No hits for me in this one, but nothing got past me in the outfield and I basically deked a baserunner by slipping on the wet grass, recovering quickly, and getting the ball into the infield for a play at the plate, where the runner was tagged out.

I'm trying to think of what all I need to bring to your attention. I guess there's this thing, which is a news archive, which people expressed interest in after I said I wasn't going to do it. It doesn't go back that far, and it doesn't have everything. I suggested it more for future news, 'cus the past news was never archived... hence the need for an archive now... whatever...

Shellshocked 3 is over. My thoughts on the event can be found in the weblog. We need to do one of these every year! Oh, wait...

New Wells Softball Update: New Wells extracted sweet, sweet revenge from Jackson 2 tonight, winning 10-4 and improving to 3-5 on the season. We were down 3-2 going into the top of the 6th, in which we scored 8 runs. Nothing was hit to me in the field, plus I got one hit (might've been an error, but I'm calling it a hit), drove in a run, and eventually scored.

They're updated, but that's all I have to say about that. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get ready for today, 'cus it's also Shellshocked 3 day...

If I'm keeping score correctly here, this is the first time there have been two new comic strips within a month of each other (well, one month, one day) since the year 2000. Check it out. Hey Gabe Nash and Chris Hendrix, if you're out there, you should especially get a kick out of this one.

Secondly, if you haven't been paying attention to all of the buzz due to overwork, serious illness or complete loss of your five senses, Shellshocked 3 is tomorrow! You have to be there, regardless of how busy or out of town you are, or you will be ridiculed to no end by all the people who go and have a good time. Remember, it's all free... free music, free food and drink, free fun, free parking, and free Brett Price! It starts at 3 PM, or be there at 11 AM if you want to help set up. See the board and the SS3 website for more details.

New Wells Softball Update: New Wells was spanked by Jackson 2 in five innings on Wednesday, losing 13-3. We play the same team again on Sunday. Despite the outcome, It was a very fun game because most of our regulars weren't there, so we were especially ragtag and bigger underdogs than usual. Our defense was shaky at first, but we came into our own (with no errors by me, but very little was hit to me in the first place).

It's updated. If you were around me last night, please read it. If not, read it, anyway.

Nobody said anything about a news archive, so I'm not doing it. So, adios to all of these old updates piling up. Adam, I'll find a place to put the April Fool's page sometime. What about Lukas' address? He's not going back to the same address, is he? Should I keep that? Anyone?

They're both relatively fresh, as well. Nothing from high school or the 70s or whatever. Leisure Suit Man was MT, by the way, in case any of you couldn't figure it out.

I had a thought for the site... would anyone be interested in having a news archive, in which these homepage updates are... well... archived? It's not essential, but I know some sites do it, and it might be a nice addition in case you want to see something you missed somewhere along the line or want to go back and look at something. Let me know what you think.

It took some jimmying, but I managed to cram the animated SS3 link up there in the corner. I suppose you can also just click here, but then all of that cramming was a total waste. Either way, visit the website.

New Wells Softball Update: New Wells improved to 2-4 Sunday evening with a 6-1 victory over the talented squad out of Immanuel, Altenburg. Our pitcher had a perfect game through six innings, which was pretty cool. I drew a walk in my only plate appearance and eventually scored from third when I foolishly headed home on a ground ball to... yes... the third baseman. He must have bobbled it or was unable to get it out of his glove or something, because I almost certainly should have been out, but the throw came long after what was possibly the worst slide into home plate ever.

So, we've got a new pic and quote today. If you've been watching the leaderboard (and I know you haven't), you might know that Brett Price is making a run for the top of the list by providing two of the last five quotes and is now trailing the leaders by two quotes. Will he succeed in taking command of the list? I guess he better keep saying funny things.

The Thunderblah! Special Edition premiere last night was good. Not much of a crowd (though we didn't expect one because we failed to get word out quickly enough), but good. I need to do a weblog thingy, so I might talk about it more in there when I do that.

Chewy Ninja Monkey Bars #18 is done, and surprisingly, it took me about a week to do the whole thing. I know I couldn't believe it.

Also, hey, if you haven't been keeping up with the board or the No Budget website, the Thunderblah! Special Edition premiere is this Friday, May 28 at 6:30 PM at Cox Memorial Hall. I know, I know, it conflicts with dodgeball, but I assure you there will still be plenty of time for dodgeball after the movie... a good hour and a half to two and a half hours if you guys are all willing to play pretty late. You don't want to miss the premiere, though; not only are we showing Thunderblah!, but also the never-before-seen outtakes and Making of Thunderblah! So be there!

Man, that's awful. Then again, I guess I've only been getting one of them out a year for many years now, so eh. It's about rain. Again.

New Wells Softball Update: New Wells went 1 for 2 this week with a 17-5 victory over Apple Creek in 5 innings on Wednesday and a 9-6 loss to Crosstown last night. Our record now stands at 1-3. I got a hit last night (might've been an error, I'm calling it a hit), improving my average to .222 (yay), scored a run, and committed no errors for the second straight game (sad). I already have more hits this season than I did last season (sadder).

Finally, I would like to wish a happy birthday to Craig "Don't call me Greg" Rhodes, who may or may not see this.

Yeah, yeah, I know you're all sick of reading about me and my failures and my issues with self-confidence, so I'll make an actual update so it's not in your face when you get here... you have to scroll down to read it now. Ha.

The pic and quote have been updated, as is the custom. They seem to share a common theme of me being a sex-starved degenerate, a trait of which I was completely unaware until now. Also, thanks to Tim Nicolai, I figured out how to make links light up when you put the mouse cursor on them. In years and years of web design, I never learned how to do that. Then again, there's a lot about web design I don't know about... a lot.

FYI: You'll notice the counter is looming pretty near 100,000 hits. That makes you all nutjobs. No, just kidding. However, I thought I'd let you know that there's been preliminary talks of a 100,000 hits party when it actually does happen, so keep that in mind. But now that I've told you this, please, do not run up the counter to make the party come more quickly. Let's try to keep things legitimate here, kay? M'kay.

You can say all you want about a loss not being any one person's fault, but when you're the one person whose fault it is that the team lost, it just doesn't sink in all that easily.

This is my fourth year of playing this game, and it's really fascinating to me that I have not improved at all. I'm pretty sure I'm worse now than when I started. I can practice forever and I will catch 95% of the catchable balls. Tonight, three balls were hit to me. I dropped one, one went over my head that shouldn't have, and I only caught the third one out of pure luck/good hand-eye coordination. The first one I dropped because I didn't use two hands, but I was too busy panicking and half backpeddling, half stumbling to think of it. At the plate, I struck out twice and popped it straight up two other times.

I almost cried on the way home I felt so worthless. That pitcher is good, but I'm just disgusted with myself for not catching those balls. It's pretty embarrassing to let your team down multiple times each game, no matter how much they try to pick you up. And I could ask Dad to hit me a million fly balls tomorrow, but the next game I play, I'll drop everything no matter how much I've prepared.

I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah, it's just a game and all that crap, but it just kinda dawned on me that I'm no good at pretty much everything I do to have fun. Softball, dodgeball... hm... I guess that's about it, since I have no life at all. I'm not sure what's more depressing, the fact that I suck at everything, or the fact that "everything" consists of like... two or three things.

You know who you are... Charles... among others... anyway, if you were too cool or busy to check the site yesterday, here's what it looked like. With the success of last year's April Fool's Day hijinx, I just couldn't resist doing it again. But, much to Carol's dismay (and Lucas' dismay. And Adam's dismay... man, you all hate me), I am in charge once again, and everything is back to normal... or is it? By the way, a big thanks to Carol for helping me out with this thing and coming up with lots of the ideas. Also, to those of you who figured it out right away but kept your mouths shut, thanks for playing along!