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Not
all email is positive. Many denizens of the internet and I have
a difference of opinion, and some don't like me to an extent that
they send nasty email my way. I don't mind hate mail. In fact, I
have been waiting to get some for quite some time. It gives me an
opportunity to see what opinions I have that others disagree with.
Anyway, here it is.
From:
[name deleted]
We
are honoured to have been recently reviewed by 'Rafael's Webzone'
at:
www.geocities.com/warriorrafael/rafael_web_zone_laughing
We
are extremely chuffed with this review, (for all you stupid Americans
out there the meaning of chuffed is pleased, but being supremely
intelligent im sure you knew this), as we received the 'F' grade
implying that we are fantastic. For this rating we thank Rafael,
my all time favourite character in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
We also wish Rafael the best of luck in his quest to defeat the
evil Shredder once and for all.
We
urge you all to read the review. Enjoy.
We
feel that we are very helpful to our viewers and so here is a mini
dictionary to explain several terms.
1)
PHWOARRRR: This is used to describe an incredibly attractive lady,
such as the Queen Mother.
2)SCHTOP:
This is taken from the incredibly brilliant and funny Grolsch ad
campaign. This campaign focuses on the immortal line: 'Schtop! What
are you doing?' Therefore the word 'schtop' is correctly used in
the context of our website.
3)
RAFAEL: The worst turtle of all time. This is highlighted by the
fact that he was armed with forks and also in the second Teenage
Mutant Ninja Turtle film his capture almost led to the destruction
of the other three super cool turtles.
4)
SILENT FROG: A human being who has possily the worst fetish possible.
He loves receiving blow jobs from frogs and therefore making the
frog silent because it has a mouth full of extremely small male
cock.
History: I guess
this would have to be considered hate mail. One of the guys who
runs the site Lovely Old Ladies called my site "poo" without
any form of provocation or anything. I assumed this was because
I like President Bush, despite the fact that his intelligence is
questionable and his public speaking ability is somewhat laughable.
I bitched about my supposed pooiness slightly in an update on this
site. I directed Price to their site, and he hated it so much he
felt inclined to write a review on it. We received this email after
this person was made aware of the review. I take it he must have
been displeased. As for my fetish, well, I don't recall asking any
frogs to blow me. Using my name against me in the way he did was
somewhat creative, but it's still pretty lame. Insults that have
to do with blowjobs, ass rape, cock size and the like are all just
getting old.
From: Jessabell
This
whole flipping site sux! you and your gosh damn shorts!! put some
damn pants on you monkey ass!!!!!!and try putting something worth
reading on this waste of space. why dont you and group of geek ass
friends quit b###hing about everything and its god damn brother!!!!
YOu suck!!
This was actually
a post on the message board. My response:
You
realize, of course, that your post is the funniest thing I have
seen all day, and it's 11:08 p.m. Splendid work, chum.
I
can't wear pants (well, only to formal events). Learn to love it.
Everyone else has.
"Monkey
ass," while in itself is a formidable insult, does not match
up to such classics as "ham'n'egger," "big dumb face"
(not the band, stupid!), and the ever-popular blowoff insult "go
lick a staple, you geeb."
According
to Bostonian businessman Joseph E. Sedgewick, "Frog-Man.org
is not only a waste of space, but is a horrible example of just
how ignorant and ultra-conservative Frog really is. [He] is an awful
person who should be shot for subjecting us to his utterly useless
and ridiculous website." Sorry, you were one-upped by this
guy.
We
can't stop b.itching about stuff. Conversation is essentially comprised
of two things: greetings/salutations, followed by complaining. Why,
your post is a b.itch in itself. Scary, no?
Anyway,
thanks for your enlightening post. Pointing out the obvious is definitely
a skill you could make a career out of. Welp, see ya later.
Jessabell's
response:
what
the #### ever! you all are asses and dont deserve to live. you walk
sct like you know everything! well look around big shot! society
doesnt give a #### about you!!
My response:
You
have no idea who I am, do you?
This was a really
lame attempt by Jessabell to make herself feel superior to us asses.
Unfortunately for her, she was unable to realize that we don't seem
to care, and that society seems to enjoy my company, from what I
gather. She's probably just jealous. And, with any luck, vengeful
after this incident.
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